After we drop Shay at school in the mornings, Abby and I have about a 15 minute drive to her preschool. Sometimes she's still waking up, so I turn on talk radio or music. Sometimes she wants to talk and she brings up the most interesting of ideas. Staring out the window, she'll tell me how glad she is that we picked a nice house. Or ask if she'll ever get to walk on top of the mountains. Sometimes it's more personal stuff.
A few weeks ago she got her heart broken at school. Leo told her one day that he liked her and that she was his girlfriend. I asked her what that means. She said they were getting married.
The next day brought devastation, as she and Leo broke off their engagement when Leo decided he wanted to marry Jayden instead. She actually cried when she told me about it. This little girl gives her heart and soul to everyone, so I guess (at 4 years old) this is just the beginning of heartbreak.
This week there was a new drama. Lucy told Abby she couldn't come into the clubhouse at school because it was for cool people. Abby wasn't cool enough to go in. When she told me this, my stomach clenched and I went into Mama Bear mode. NOBODY was going to tell this little ray of sunshine in the backseat that she wasn't cool enough. I mean, are you kidding me?? Abby is one of the coolest kids I know. She's amazingly friendly and open, she says hi to everyone-kid or adult-, she is mature beyond her years and can have full conversations with anyone.
Me: So, how did that make thee feel?
Abby: Sad on the inside. Lucy is my friend, I don't know why she said that.
Me: (my heart breaking a little for her) Yeah, I would feel sad, too. Sometimes when people don't feel happy inside they say mean things that make other people sad.
Abby: But I like Lucy. I want her to feel happy on the inside.
Me: (do you see what I mean? She's a saint) Well, sweetie, what did thee do when Lucy said thee couldn't come inside the clubhouse?
Abby: I walked away and found Ivy Maude and played with her, she's my friend, too.
Me: Good choice. Saying mean things back isn't choosing the right.
Abby: But I don't wanna say mean things back. Lucy would feel sad like me.
Me: That's right. Thee did the right thing, and I'm proud of thee.
Update to the situation: The next day, Abby brought a special treat to share at recess with her friends, and when Lucy came up and asked for some, Abby gladly shared with her. She and Lucy and Sara ran around and played together, and when Abby left for the day Lucy came up and gave her a hug.
And that's the power of a positive attitude. It may not always work, but sometimes we can all take a page from Abby's book and refrain from returning ugliness for ugliness. If we all just share our pretzels and forgive each other, we can all get along a lot better. We don't always have to agree, but we do always have to be nice.
Oh, and Abby's parting words as she hopped out of the car: "Jayden said she saw a movie where two girls got married. Isn't that silly??"
Social status and gay marriage...just a few of the topics discussed on the preschool playground.
A few weeks ago she got her heart broken at school. Leo told her one day that he liked her and that she was his girlfriend. I asked her what that means. She said they were getting married.
The next day brought devastation, as she and Leo broke off their engagement when Leo decided he wanted to marry Jayden instead. She actually cried when she told me about it. This little girl gives her heart and soul to everyone, so I guess (at 4 years old) this is just the beginning of heartbreak.
This week there was a new drama. Lucy told Abby she couldn't come into the clubhouse at school because it was for cool people. Abby wasn't cool enough to go in. When she told me this, my stomach clenched and I went into Mama Bear mode. NOBODY was going to tell this little ray of sunshine in the backseat that she wasn't cool enough. I mean, are you kidding me?? Abby is one of the coolest kids I know. She's amazingly friendly and open, she says hi to everyone-kid or adult-, she is mature beyond her years and can have full conversations with anyone.
Abby: Sad on the inside. Lucy is my friend, I don't know why she said that.
Me: (my heart breaking a little for her) Yeah, I would feel sad, too. Sometimes when people don't feel happy inside they say mean things that make other people sad.
Abby: But I like Lucy. I want her to feel happy on the inside.
Me: (do you see what I mean? She's a saint) Well, sweetie, what did thee do when Lucy said thee couldn't come inside the clubhouse?
Abby: I walked away and found Ivy Maude and played with her, she's my friend, too.
Me: Good choice. Saying mean things back isn't choosing the right.
Abby: But I don't wanna say mean things back. Lucy would feel sad like me.
Me: That's right. Thee did the right thing, and I'm proud of thee.
Update to the situation: The next day, Abby brought a special treat to share at recess with her friends, and when Lucy came up and asked for some, Abby gladly shared with her. She and Lucy and Sara ran around and played together, and when Abby left for the day Lucy came up and gave her a hug.
And that's the power of a positive attitude. It may not always work, but sometimes we can all take a page from Abby's book and refrain from returning ugliness for ugliness. If we all just share our pretzels and forgive each other, we can all get along a lot better. We don't always have to agree, but we do always have to be nice.
Oh, and Abby's parting words as she hopped out of the car: "Jayden said she saw a movie where two girls got married. Isn't that silly??"
Social status and gay marriage...just a few of the topics discussed on the preschool playground.
